A lot of mums have been asking me how I manage my days and asked me to put
a blog post together. So here is a more practical post on how to look at managing your time!
Whether we are a mum with one kid, or 2 kids or 3 or 4, a working mum or a stay at home mum, we are all busy! There are 100 things to do and our kids need attention, as do our husbands and as well as ourselves and we want to do the best for them all!
But as the bible says
“There is an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything.” Ecclesiastes 3:1
So we need to be women who are wise and organised with our time, not wasting it or getting frustrated that we don’t have enough. So how do we balance it all?
Here are my 5 steps to getting on top of things!
Create routine
The first step seems very simple, routine means for you as well as your kids.Routine provides a sense of certainty and security for kids as well as prepare them for future time management. So getting up, having breakfast, playing, getting dressed, brushing teeth and going outside is just our simple morning routine but if we don’t stick to this, Kara can become frustrated and time can be wasted with tantrums, (especially if we don’t go outside!) because kids thrive on routine. Kara often repeats the routine to me so she knows what she is doing next, she seems to feel her own sense of control from this. If you don’t have a routine already, I recommend starting just simple routines so your children can anticipate what’s next and so the day’s can run much smoother.
The rest of my routines are for myself! I dedicate 20 mins a day to everyday cleaning (vacuum, dishes, kitchen, laundry etc) for the rest of the house hold chores I dedicate different days. These are things like cleaning the bath, dusting, sorting the washing, cleaning the toilets, vacuuming the whole house etc.)
So here is how to break the rest down: Make a list of everything you need to do every week, that looks overwhelming right! Now break that down into daily tasks. These are the things you don’t need to do everyday but would need to be done weekly. And not something you should spend too long on, it should amount to another 15 minutes cleaning.
Other things I build into a routine are meals. Twice a week I will go grocery shopping, and plan the meals for the week. A lot of people now a days do meal prep, I don’t do this since I enjoy cooking and I’m a stay at home mum so I have time, but if you are a working mum that is also something you could look into!
I also plan for crafts and activities I want to do with my kids, even if that’s just a trip to the park, I put that on my schedule.
Make a plan of your week and you will feel a sense of achievement when you achieve your goals.
Teach our Kids to Play Independently
Teaching our kids to play independently, not only leaves us hands free to do some jobs, but is also good for them. You may feel a bad mum if you are not playing with your kid constantly, but that is not true.
Whilst I’m cleaning Kara will be playing with her animals. And whilst I am cooking dinner Kara will read books buy herself, or do coloring or play dough on the floor. It took time to get her to this stage, but this stage is important for her to learn skills to play by herself and not always need me, as well as for me to get things done.
Of course she always wants me to play with her (all the time!) but I know the benefit of independent play is not just good for me, but important for her psychological development and physical growth, so I try to encourage it as much as I can! When children use their imagination to make up their own games and characters with out an adults interference they learn to express themselves more,find answers to problems and deal with new situations.
You may need to start with just 5 mins independent play at a time and stretch it longer and longer each time if your child is really clingy. You will also need to teach them how to do Independent play. That means how to play.
I spent many a time enthusiastically on the floor transporting her animals in cars from “Gruffalo island” to “Crocodile island” running away from the impending crocodile, putting them to bed in their farm house, hiding with them under the kitchen table chairs, making them climb mountains all in their little cute voices. Kara joins in with me and often tells me what I can’t do, but after doing this a few times, she enjoys to do this by herself! Whilst I watch her in the kitchen, I hear her repeating the same phrases I did!
A lot of the toys we have are toys that need interaction from others, so I needed to teach her how to play with the same toys without anybody else around.
Make the most of your free time
This means that I try to maximize whatever free time I have as well as create more free time!
So nap time means – time to write, read, spend time with God for me. If the kids fall asleep when we are out, my husband and I try to rush to a cafe so we can have some quality time together before they wake up! (They often wake up once we have sat down with our coffee though!)
Put the kids to bed early – If you don’t have a bed time routine yet it’s never to late to start. Start putting them into a routine after dinner with play, bath, story, and bed. Setting a time for their bed time will be good for you and them, things will get done a lot faster, with less procrastination and a lot of mum persuasion to pick up the toys!
Maximize your you time by arranging a night once a month for you to go out by yourself whilst your husband looks after the kids etc. maybe with friends, or shopping by yourself! I love going to the cinema, so when there is a good movie on, I call up my girl friends and go with them! I also enjoy going clothes shopping by myself, so there are no kids screaming at me when I want to try clothes on in H&M!
Date night – I have talked about this in my blog Why I Prioritize Date Night! But also plan a night out or in with your husband!
Whilst on the topic – if you are finding it difficult to find time for sex after having kids, don’t be afraid to set aside time for this as well! Of course spontaneity is awesome but with all the things we have to do, if we leave it up to that sometimes it can be totally wiped off the schedule!! So it’s OK to plan when you will have sex sometimes and at other times leave it up to spontaneity!
Multi-tasking
It’s what we women are renowned for so let’s not forget it and use it to our advantage. There are lots of ways I like to multi-task. Reading parenting books whilst drying my hair, or listen to podcasts whilst straightening my hair. Turning everyday day chores into fun activities for the kids. Like jumping on the bed, whilst folding the laundry. Doing exercise with my baby as a weight lift, is always fun for him! You can be creative, I’m sure there are some ways to multi – task the things you need to do if you really think about it!
Other ways I like to multiply the tasks that get done is by using my husband! Our husband is our helper, so he can help! Sometimes we have expectations that he should do something and then he never does it!
But did you ask?
Even if you did ask again! Sometimes they are not listening or they didn’t realize you meant every time. Anyway our expectations and our husbands expectations are often different but it’s OK to ask for help! Without my husbands help, I couldn’t get a lot done!
Set aside some task that your husband can do and leave that job up to him, just make sure he knows that’s his job first!
Motivate Yourself
The last thing I need to ask is how are you motivating yourself? Of course we sometimes all have lazy days! And that’s OK, I love a good lazy day when I stay in my pj’s all morning! But especially if we are a stay at home mum, it can become a habit when we don’t have anyone to tell us what to do! And procrastination is a killer to your schedule! Nowadays our social media and phones can often get in the way of that too! Sometime even just getting out of bed or off the sofa can be difficult. So you need to figure out what motivates you!
Maybe that’s starting the morning fresh with reading the Bible or having a cup of coffee! Or maybe that means you need to do a quick run, or have a shower to help you feel motivated for the tasks you need to do! Or putting your make up on and getting dressed may put you in the mood for doing jobs! Find out what makes you motivated and make that a habit! I like ticking things off my to do list, so I always create a list to motivate me to get started! I often put some things on the list that I have already done, just so I can tick them off! I also find myself more productive after I have got dressed and put my make up on, rather than before, so I make that my habit!
How about you? What motivates you to get going? How do you make the most of your free time? And what does your routine look like? Let me know I would love to hear some new ideas too!
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I love this Laura! Applies both to single and married! Thank you for this!
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This is so good and much needed. I’m a work from home mom with a super busy toddler. Most days seem to rush by in a blur of chaos while i try to juggle all the many hats I need to wear while still trying to cherish each moment with my little guys. I love how simple and practical you have made this post. Off to go plan my schedule and calendar now!
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